A native Iowa Citian who returned to raise my family here, I find myself *far* more opinionated when it comes to everything from the restaurants to the city council. Here is my $.02.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Those Moms...

For some women, giving birth to a child (or adopting) reverts them back to their catty high school attitudes, complete with criteria to associate the "cools" from the "not cools." The "haves" from the "have nots."

Re-read that first sentence. It's the truth. They don't teach you this stuff in those pre-baby classes. They should. They should also teach you self defense. Wax on. Wax off.

Baby carriers, child development, strollers, car seats, accessories, cameras, diapers, baby clothes, shoes, music classes, pre schools, feeding choices, weight, husbands, work status and pretty much every other detail of our lives, are picked apart by women who feel it's their duty to tell you what you are doing wrong. In the most condescending way possible.

Just today I had a run in with one of these mothers. I knew what was coming as I caught her eyes sizing me up as I loaded my daughter into a baby carrier, while balancing my little boy's tippy cup, a diaper bag and a half chewed piece of banana bread in the other hand. She started at my face, smiled and then as she turned her head...Slowly panned down my body taking in every detail. You know the look. The "I'm pretending not to check you out while I turn this way" trick.

Two minutes and 17 seconds later she walked up behind me and the pecking began.

The baby was loaded so I guess I was fair game. "What brand of carrier is that?" My response was something to the effect of "The ultimate baby wrap, something my sister got second hand and shipped up to me from Texas." Horror overtook her face. Was it the fact that it wasn't a trendy brand or the fact it was second hand? I couldn't tell. I didn't give a $hit. I was still balancing the tippy, banana bread and now my two year old was now screaming.

The questions continued, first about my car seat. Was it the new model? Apparently the new model holds up to 30 lbs. Whoopdeedo. Where did I get it? Was it expensive? She might as well asked to see my bank statement.

Nice camera, does it take good pictures? Could she hold it? It's a camera, not a puppy.

I continued to be peppered with questions and unsolicited information about her gear (including her new baby Bjorn Active carrier that is so much better for her lower back pain) until I simply walked away.

According to this mom, I should be en route to get myself one of these carriers straight away. In reality, I was on my way to the car to drive far far from this psycho as fast as I could.

Thank God I have good friends who don't judge me for what I may or may not do with my body fluids, wipe my kids' asses with and buy first, second or third hand.

Wax on. Wax off.


Blogger Brando the Mando said...

Just be happy it was some ditzy mom, and not a reporter.

Sunday, March 19, 2006 7:12:00 PM

Blogger epotts said...

she was probably wishing she was you the entire time, and had to make you uncomfortable to validate her own "cooliness" in her psycho brain.

Monday, March 20, 2006 8:13:00 AM


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