A native Iowa Citian who returned to raise my family here, I find myself *far* more opinionated when it comes to everything from the restaurants to the city council. Here is my $.02.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Guilt

guilt (glt) noun
The fact of being responsible for the commission of an offense.

That should read: What a mother feels every moment of every minute of every day.

I am working on this one.

I feel guilty when I take a shower. Even though my 12 week old is perched blissfully unaware of my absence 10 feet from me in a swing, I take the baby monitor into the bathroom with me just in case she were to moan, fart or attempt to open a checking account while I am washing up. The sad thing...This is my second child.

As parents' we live in constant fear of screwing up our children.

Uh oh, the baby is falling asleep on my shoulder, quick wake her up and then lay her down in her crib so that she can learn to fall asleep on her own. She cries. Don't put the nuk in her mouth, she will want it until she goes to kindergarten and have dental problems her entire life. Was that a fart I heard? The early rumblings of an oncoming poop? Should I stand here and listen closely to her tummy because she *might* shat in her diaper and how horrible of a mother would I be to let my kid nap in a dirty diaper?

I know I am not the only mom getting lost in the obsession that every detail of my parenting shapes the human being that will one day choose what nursing home I will be placed in. We all do it.

Why do we beat ourselves up over the small stuff? I hear myself telling friends to not worry yet I expect the police to come knock on my door if they find out I put my baby girl on her tummy to nap. We feel the need to constantly defend our actions. (She was on the couch and I was right next to her watching her breathing patterns the entire time.) The only logical explanation I can come up with is modem society has unrealistic expectations of mothers. Too many theories, advice columns and books to define what "the right way to do things" is. What's right for you baby, might not be right for mine. Kappesh?

In the end, it's not about the small stuff.

When my kids grow up, I know they won't remember the mistakes we made. (Unless they read my blog.) They are loved beyond explanation. That alone is a great way to start.

2 Comments:

Blogger Brando the Mando said...

Oops... I already screwed our kid up.

Sunday, March 19, 2006 7:15:00 PM

 
Blogger epotts said...

you are a wonderful mom who loves her kids perfectly! stop stressing.

Monday, March 20, 2006 8:18:00 AM

 

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